no particular order other than as they come to me.
1. the lack of fantana commercials before movies these days. where did they go? i'd much rather see the fantanas than another fandango ad. hint to fandango: i wouldn't be in the theatre if not for you cos HELL if i'm going all the way to union swuare or whatever without having already bought tickets! do i look like a crazy person? seriously now.
2. scarlett johannson. shut up! you're very, very stupid, like "you make winona ryder look like a mensa member" type of stupid, and a bad singer. i used to have no ill will towards you but you keep getting interviewed and saying increasingly retarded things and now this album you're putting out...enough! listen. you go back to being titlicious in films like the island and never saying anything and certainly not singing for christ's sake and i will stop disliking you. you are no lindsay lohan, so stop pretending you are like some indie man's version of such. now begone with you! ps lilo if u readin this girl u my #1
3. people i know who like lcd soundsystem and/or !!! but are like openly derisive/dismissive/pissy towards any other dance music. oh yeah, there's such a really big fucking difference in intent/tempo/blahbbityblahblahblah between "us v them" and an ural 13 dictators song. i love you guys but you're bringing me down*! you're all such douchebags. (see also: people who live way closer to the j or g but insist on taking the l, people who live in really inconvenient parts of brooklyn simply because they can still say they live in brooklyn, yr dad).
4. people who abandon animals on the street. if you could drive the animal to your preferred dumping point, what the hell was so hard about driving it the rest of the way to the aspca? trying to mind your carbon footprint or something? assholes. i mean, honestly. you can even sneak them there and leave them outside the door, abandoned-baby-in-a-film style, if you're just too cheap to pay the small fee they ask for to be able to not kill your pet. which, btw, is what is going to happen to your abandoned kitten or puppy 98% of the time you dump it on a street. do you think the poor thing's fairy godmother is going to show up on the bqe and bring it to the ball? who are you? scarjo?
5. power cords. they just creep me out!
6. tom brady. though i've been applauding his incredibly brave decision to come and spend his bye week in new york city. i mean, he could have made his gf go to boston, or even gone to arizona with her a week early. but he chose to go to new york, and while it's likely he is going to get beaten to death by a crazed jerseyite giants fan by sunday, it really shows a level of ballsiness that is impressive. still though, overall, tom brady: no.
7. the j train. you're like going 5 mph over the bridge. you know what goes faster than 5 mph into manhattan? two things: 1) me, walking on the fucking bridge. 2) trains that go underground!
8. piglets. ha ha, just kidding, i don't really know anything about piglets. i'm just running out of things i don't like.
9. the fact that it seems like levi's changed the sizing on my favorites. i mean, i'm looking at the tag on the ones i'm wearing (no small feat, actually), and it says it is a 5L. when i'm on the website, there is a 4L, and a 6L (theoretically--not in the color i want), but clearly no 5L. when did this happen? how the hell am i supposed to figure this out? i really don't want to have to actually enter a levi's store and try them on. this is a really petty complaint, sorry! i'm just hoping that someone at levi's will read this and give me advice on how to shot 521s (confusing the issue futher is the fact that the 5Ls are too big for me).
10. the fact that people in my office keep honking bicycle horns. i'm not making this up at all. please, guys, let's be cool. i know why they are doing it, but it's just so wrong and bad and my god i have headache problems to begin with. i don't need to hear this for weeks on end.
* do you see what i did there?