From The Files Of The Ghost Of Alfred Stieglitz, HTPUG Photo Editor And Man About Towne

Dear Friends,

When first asked to write an entry for this blog I was surprised. It's not every day that a publication summons me from the spirit world to comment on the state of photography and technique so you must forgive my lack of command of public comment.

I have taken it upon myself to choose my subject and I will be penning this column with a link to the Worst Flickr Thred Posting Of The Day forthwith.

This thred, entitled simply "Making SLR photos stand out from point and shoot," is a profound exercise in stupidity. In fact, the base distillation of the question is, "I thought getting a bigger camera would help me take better pictures, but it seems it's not happening. What gives?" There are many subsequent postings from people that offer advice such as procuring an external flash or purchasing a faster lens. Nevermind the fact that getting a new tool /= immediate satisfactory results.

The worst post of the day, however, comes from someone calling himself "bluesguy NY." I was wondering who the bluesguy was in NY. I know the ones in AK and CA, but not in NY. Thank christ. He suggests that one of the benefits of using an SLR is the absence of parallax.

Parallax is illustrated below, using a TLR model rather than a digital compact, but that's not the point:



What this illustration doesn't show you is that the parallax effect becomes negligible the further and further away you move from the subject. If a bro (Dash, in this instance) is taking pictures two feet or less from his subject I would

a) complement him for being stupid enough to intrude on a performers' space

b) wonder why there was no one in the audience complaining about the dipshit photographer standing in their way

The post from "bluesguy NY," if that is his real name, adds that,

"With a point and shoot camera, you have to allow for seeing a different view than you will be capturing, resulting in cutting off people's heads or allowing off-center photos."

OH THANK GOD I FINALLY FIGURED OUT WHAY ALL MY FUCKING PHOTOS WERE OFF CENTER. PARALLAX. JESUS WEEPING CHRIST ON THE CROSS I KEPT WANTING TO HAVE ALL MY PHOTOS SENSIBLY CENTERED AND I KEPT LEADING MY SUBJECT FOR SOME REASON AND DESTROYING VALUABLE SYMMETRY NOW I HAVE THE ANSWER.

"SLRs also provide for the mounting of lens filters such as polarizors and star filters, and you get to see exactly what effects the camera sees."

HOLY FUCKING SHIT I CANT TAKE A GOOD PICTURT TO BE GING WITH AND NOW I FINALLY FIND OUT THAT MY PROBLEM IS THAT IM NOT USING A STAR FILTER OR A POLARIZER AND NOW I KNOW THAT GOD I CAN YUSE A POLARIZER WHEN THE SITUATION IS A DIMLY LIT STAGE AND LOSE TWO STOPS OF LIGHT WITHOUT TRYING NOW IM SHOOTING TOTALLY IN THE DARK AND A POLARIZER DOESNT DO ANYTHING IF YOUR LIGHT SOURCE IS NOT COMING IN FROM A CERTAIN ANGLE TO MAKE THE POLAIZOR DO THE THING IST MADE TO DO WHICH IS POLAIZE LIGHT.

AALL OF THIS WILL ANSWER THE QUESTION AS ORIGINALLYT POSED. PLEASE RECALL IT IS:

"Making SLR photos stand out from point and shoot."

or

"I thought getting a bigger camera would help me take better pictures, but it seems it's not happening. What gives?"

bluesguyNY, you are the first in our ongoing series, "Worst Flickr Thred Posting Of The Day."

--Alfred