Thursday, April 24

stories that i just never get, part a million

another day, another story about jerking off and preventing cancer. these are printed all of the time. what i never understand about them is, wouldn't it be more accurate to say orgasming? i've seen no evidence from any of the studies that they link that the, you know, arm motion (i'm making the "jerk off" hand signal right now) is really the key part here. so just having sex 5 times per week would also accomplish your anti-cancer goals. or blow jobs five times a week! or a combination of all of these things.

of course, this iteration of this article, being as it is reported by ultra fascist psychonews channel fox, claims that the reason they are specifically mentioning masturbation is that having sex causes cancer because of the stds. what the hell? is there another cancer besides cervix cancer that is caused by stds? which, you know, doesn't affect men, who are the subject of this study. servicey!

also, who the fuck are these men who are not getting off in some fashion five times per week? i don't think i've ever met any of them.

1 comment:

Hereward said...

1. What the f#%* are you doing reading Fox News?

2. Their other health stories in the box on the right included, "Lung Nodules: Sign of a bigger problem?" Of course, I read that as Lung Noodles. Unknown Chinese dish or really bad respiratory ailment symptom? Or both?

3. Very reassuring article, if true.