Friday, February 8

let's ramp up for valentine's day

here are some exit strategies (supposedly) for getting out of bad dates! would they work? i've only done one of them, the "leave with no explanation." how do you even stage a phone call, honestly? are there people who ask their friends to call them during dates "just in case"? or do you have to text your friend to please call you? and how do you hide the fact that you are texting instructions from your date? i have a lot of questions about that one.

the "crying during sex" one is weird too, because honestly, speaking as a complete slut, it still seems odd to me that you'd get that far into the date and then realize it was a bad idea--to the point that you don't just get the show over with and make your exit after. it's a bit like boarding the cyclone and then trying to leap off before the first downturn, isn't it? except, whoops, one of the times i've left with no explanation was at that point in the date. ok, revision--the crying during sex one is weird because i'd think i'd freak the fuck out and be sex-avoidant for a very long time if i ever saw someone crying during a blowjob (unless i've inflicted pain on them, which would be scarring in a different way i suppose).

all in all, really, i think the only acceptable strategies listed here are just leaving, and being honest. the rest of them seem like a whole lot of fucking effort just to avoid telling a person you dislike that you dislike them.

now who wants to volunteer to be my phony phone call on the night of the 14th? i kid, i kid.

1 comment:

Hereward said...

Cry during sex!? If they're tears of gratitude, that might work.

Who the fuck has the time or presence of mind to not just bail? "Sorry, it's been moderately tolerable but I just remembered I have to go home and scour the grout in the tiles in my bathroom. Never call me, okay? Thanks, good night."