Friday, September 26

stem cell research, the most important issue of this election

ok, so now obama is running ads claiming that john mccain is against stem cell research in states like wisconsin (? are they big stem cell research fans in our nation's finest state, the cheese factory state?). here is a couple of things, because why not play that game today.

1) john mccain is a supporter of stem cell research. speculatively speaking, this is because john mccain is 73 billion years old and is starting to show signs of alzheimers*, a disease which might be curable using stem cell advances.
2) john mccain's support of stem cell research is one of the biggest reasons the wackadoodle republican base of psychotics jesus freaks hates mccain (the other being his support of abortion but since john mccain doesn't have a uterus he has switched positions on that one!). sarah palin was inflicted on the world because of stem cell research, basically.

so, ok. obama. you are running an ad that makes john mccain more appealing to crazy people, getting them all motivated back up to vote for captain crazy. it is also a complete lie, that an awful lot of knee-jerk liberal "i hate republicans, all republicans, all the time" dumbasses already believed to be true anyway! so i guess you're trying to get the independents (haha obviously, i'm being facetious before)...but if mccain points out you are lying, then you look bad. but if mccain points out you are lying, then he pisses off the crazies too! omg wtf is this ad secretly the atom bomb to finally destroy the campaigns? because it is an OUROBOROS?

haha no of course not, no one cares about what they show on the teevee in wisconsin. with palin making a horse's ass of herself on national television and mccain flouncing around in his batman suit, obama could probably start running around claiming john mccain is personally responsible for the new terrible season of project runway and sarah palin is a transsexual gay vegan and no one would even notice at all.

* i was convinced until about the age of 8 or 9 that this disease was actually called "old timers" disease, because the words sounded similar and, well, it made sense to me. i finally wrote the words down--god knows why, what the hell kind of short stories was i penning in 3rd grade?--and my mom laughed and laughed.

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