the worst outfit in the world

i saw a girl on the subway today wearing all of these items, together, at one time:

(except grey, not black)
(except more floral-y)

(top items tucked into pants. her pants also had weird seaming on them)
(except grey, i guess to theoretically "match" the hat)

she also had a giant blue rusted bike with a basket on front, and was of course dragging this onto the train during the tail end of rush hour. because she has just arrived, today, from the planet ork, and knows nothing of our earth customs.

seriously, i hope you read this, anonymous lady with the ridiculous outfit and the over-dyed black short hair and the strange sooty eye make-up (i'm certain that the combo of make-up and hair was meant to invoke the '20s, but the overall effect became a little more like "rejected extra from benny & joon"), because i'm certain none of your friends have told you yet how absolutely abhorrent you look today.

and even if you get offended and disagree and keep dressing like robin williams's drunken baby sister, at least keep your enormous fucking bike off the rush hour express trains.

thanks!!