Tuesday, June 3

just like romeo & juliet

when i was 19, i had this boyfriend who just wasn't really a guy who seemed to get hints. like, he just kind of came with me to my new (studio) apartment and decided that i wanted him to live there. since i was basically constantly drunk and/or high, i let it be. but we hated each other, very, very much. the kind of hatred in which we got into an argument so he picked up my christmas tree and threw it on the ground (decorated!) and then i hauled off and punched him straight in the face. most people would've predicted this kind of animosity, considering he was a person who did not drink, smoke, or really do much of anything (or approve of doing anything) besides listening to the magnetic fields, and i was what one might've called "a girl about town."

well, anyway, after the christmas tree punching episode, he moved out of the apartment that i'm not sure he was actually living in, back to his parents' house, presumably. but he kept showing up! for months and months, behaving like he was my boyfriend, even though we had broken up. often, particularly when around female coworkers of his that he wanted to ask out, he would admit that he was not my boyfriend, but then it would go to hell because i'd go to dinner with my friend dan who was visiting from boston and my "boyfriend" would accuse dan of hitting on me and we'd be back to square one. considering that my house was usually full of people who were not supposed to be living there yet would not leave, i didn't really fuss about it, but we were all very confused. he was still coming around, even after i had very obviously started dating someone else. after a while, we all just reckoned that he really enjoyed being openly and cruelly ridiculed by drunken 19 year olds (he was slightly older). eventually he just stopped coming round, and no one thought of him again, other than occasionally saying, "oh my god, do you remember that guy?" and laughing.

and that is what hillary clinton reminds me of.

7 comments:

Alex in NYC said...

I enjoyed this post very much.

M said...

That's savage.

Rickey said...

Haven't read the blog before, but Matos pointed me here. Great great great post, maybe made even better by the MSNBC coverage I'm watching.

Nicole said...

Now I'm picturing him in a Hillary pantsuit. YOU HAVE RUINED MY LIFE.

ally said...

oh god, i forget that some of you know this person. i'm very sorry for forcing some of you to imagine the unholy offspring.

Sarah in DC said...

LOOK HOW BORING THE CAMPAIGN IS NOW

ally said...

i know -- it's really just ridiculous. mccain is useless, i have nothing to say about any of it. i admire ken & co at wonkette for being able to invent things to say about this thing at this point, because my god...i mean, mccain!