Tuesday, October 7

an open letter to the new york jets, society, peta, serial killers, the ny times, etc

a prank is, for example, stealing a player's clothing while they are in the showers and replacing it with a dress. or plastering pictures of john mccain all over their locker. murdering some semi-unknown animal, sticking it in a bag filled with its blood and guts, and then shoving it into another player's locker is not a prank. that is serial killer behavior; it is, in normal society, a threat. this is not a sign that brett favre is a playful young soul; it is a sign that he is a terribly unbalanced person, only kept aloft previously by his drug addiction and probably a helluva lot of booze.

i already disliked brett favre. i'm sick of his face, the fawning attention on a guy whose strategy entirely amounts to, "i will throw the ball as hard as i can and someone, anyone, will probably catch this." but now he's also mutilating animals and shoving them in lockers and, well, i have no idea what to say to that. like i am genuinely at a loss to describe my befuddlement here, or why the other players are being so winky-winky about having dead animals shoved into their shit.

where did he even get this possibly-a-wild-turkey thing? hunting season isn't exactly in swing, southern jersey is better for hunting than northern, and i'm certain that favre doesn't have a hunting license yet in jersey (is he even a resident?). did he shoot this animal somewhere else and trek it back to jersey? god knows how old that bird was! must've smelled great in that locker. just from that standpoint alone, every other player should be furious with him.

my one hope in this is that peta gets a hold of this rather alarming "prank" report and protests favre's ass into retirement, where he can spend as much time as he likes by himself, shoving dead animals into things and popping pills. this is giving peta way too much credit for being able to accomplish anything besides making themselves look like morons, though.

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