KURT WARNER DOES NOT OWN GOD, AND THAT IS WHY THE CARDINALS WILL NOT WIN: A POINT

IT IS BEEN A LONG TIME SINCE I HAVE WRITTEN ANYTHING FOR THIS SITE BECAUSE I HVE BEEN DEDICZATING MYSELF A LITTLE MORE TO MY FAITH AND TO POLITICAL EFFORTS TO ELECT BARACK OBAMA THE 44TH PRESIDENT OF OUR UNISTED STATES OF AMERICA. BUT TODAY WE ARE ON THE EVE OF OUR SUPER BOWL, WHICH IS A MOMENTOUS OCCASION AND I CANNOT LET IT PASS UNTOUCHED.

I WAS SURPRISED TO SEE THAT THIS GAME WAS BETWEEN THE PITTSBURGH STEELERS AND THE ARIZONA CARDINALS. TO BE HONEST I WASN'T AWARE THE CARDINALS WERE STILL IN THE LEAGUE SO GOD BLESS EM THAT THEY ACCOMNPLISHED THIS. THEN SOMEONE TELLS ME, YOU KNOW WHO QBS THAT TEAM: KURT WARNER. I THOUGHT HE BECAME A FARMER OR SOMETHING AFTER HE LEFT THE GIANTS TO BE FAIR SO AGAIN GOD BLESS HIM. HOWEVER I HVE TO RETRACT THAT BLESSING BECAUSE HE IS ALWAYS TALKIN ABOUT HOW MUCH GOD BLESSES HIM AND HOW HE LIKES TO DRAW GOD (ALSO GOD DOESN'T LOOK LIKE THAT, PROBABLY, AT ANY RATE: DON'T IDOLATOR). I FEEL HE HAS A BIG HEAD, METAPHORICAL. GOD IS FOR ALL OF US NOT JUST THOSE OF US WHO ARE BAPTIZED IN SOME CERTAIN CHURCH. FOR EXAMPLE HE THINKS THAT HIS MOM BRENDA'S PARENTS WERE KILLED IN A TORNADO BECAUSE THEY WERE NOT BAPTIZED IN CHURCH THAT DAY. TORNADOS WORK IN MYSTERIOUS WAYS BUT I FEEL THAT IF TORNADOS WERE TARGETING NONBELIEVERS OF THE WARNERS' SECT OF CHRISTIANITY, TORNADOS WOULD ATTACK FOR EXAMPLE AMSTERDAM. PETRHAPS GOD SENT THAT TORNADO--TO MAKE YOU MARRY YOUR MOM ONCE AND FOR ALL?-- BUT THE OTHER OPTIONS PUT FORTH ARE NOT LOGISTICAL. THINK ABOUT THIS: SCIENCE AND GOD ARE PART OF ONE UNIVERSE BUT ARE SEPARATE BEINGS.

THE OTEHR THING IS THAT THERE IS A LOT OF GOD TO GO ABOUT AND THAT IS WHY I THINK GOD WILL FROWN UPON MR. WARNER'S IDOLATORY AND HIS LACK OF INTELLIGENCE ABOUT TORNADOS AND GOD WILL BESTOW THIS SUPER BOWL RING UPON BEN ROETHLISBERGER IN SUPPORT OF HIS CONTINUED LITERAL HEAD GROWTH.

I WOULD LIKE TO ALSO GIVE A SPECIAL SHOUT OUT TO OUR NEW PRESIDENT WHOM I AM VERY PROUD OF. HE IS A REAL MAN OF ACTION AND HE CARES A LOT ABOUT THE BAD SITUATION MANY ARE IN. I AM GLAD THAT WE HAVE A LEADER WHO WILL BRING OUR TROOPS HOME AND TREAT THEM WITH THE RESPECT THEY DESERVE. TO OUR OVERSEAS READERS: PEACE AND GOD BLESS YOU -- ALL OF YOU!!

SHAME ON YOU HANNAH MONTANA, A SPECIAL INVESTIGATION REPORT BY DERRICK BROOKS

NOTE TO HANNAH MONTANA: SEAT BELTS ARE NECESSARY NOT AN ACCESORY. MANY PARENTS WOULD AGREE THAT 15-YEAR-OLD SUPERSTAR HANNAH MONTANA AKA MILEY CYRUS IS A GOOD ROLE MODEL FOR THE CHILDREN. BUT A PROBLEM IN HER DISNEY 3-D MOVIE “HANNAH MONTANA/MILEY CYRUS: BEST OF BOTH WORLDS CONCERT TOUR” MIGHT CHALLENGE THAT POPULAR OPINION.

YOU MITGHT ASK WHY. ONE SCENE IN THE MOVIE SHOWS MILEY AND HER DAD, FORMER COUNTRY MUSIC HEARTTHROB BILLY RAY CYRUS RIDING IN THE BACK SEAT OF A RANGE ROVER ON THE WAY TO REHEARSAL. GOTTA REHEARSE TOBE ON TOP. ANYWAY NEITHER IS WEARING A SEAT BELT.

WHY SHOULD I CARE? ACCORDING TO THE NATIONAL HIGHWAY TRAFFIC SAFETY ADMINISTRATION ABOUT 55 PERCENT OF PASSANGER VEHICLE FATALITIES IN 2006 (THERE IS NO DATA FOR 2007 YET, I HOPE THAT MEANS THAT THERE WERE NONE OF THESE FATALITIES IN 2007) THE OCCUPANTS WERE NOT WEARING SEAT BELTS. EVEN WORSE, IN THE 13- TO 15-YEAR OLD AGE GROUP, THE NUMBER IS 65%. I AM NOT SURPRISED BY THESE GRIM STATS BECAUSE IN 2002 A SURVEY BY INSURANCE INSTITUTE FOR HIGHWAY SAFETY SHOWED THAT WHEN PARENTS ARE DROPPING TEENS OFF AT SCHOOL THEY DO NOT WEAR SEAT BELTS.

I THINK THAT MILEY, HER FATHER, AND DISNEY CORPORATION HAD A PERFECT OPPORTUNITY TO HELP INFLUENCE THESE YOUNG PEOPLE AND COUNTERACT INSTEAD OF ENCOURAGE THIS SEAT BELT FLAUNTING TREND. THEN AGAIN, AS HANNAH SINGS HERSELF, “EVERYBODY MAKES MISTAKES” AND I HOPE THAT THEY WILL TAKE A TIP FROM THE REST OF HER WONDERFUL SONG, WHICH I LISTEN TO PRE-GAME REGULARLY, “NOBODY’S PERFECT! I GOTTA WORK IT! AGAIN AND AGAIN UNTIL I GET IT RIGHT!”

I WOULD ALSO LIKE TO GIVE A SHOUT OUT TO OUR TROOPS. I HOPE THAT MILEY AND HER FATHER CAN GO ON A USO TOUR SOON AND ENTERTAIN OUR BOYS WHO ARE FIGHTING SO HARD TO KEEP OUR FREEDOMS. NOT FREEDOMS FROM SEAT BELTS THOUGH. THOSE ARE NECESSARY—NOT AN ACCESSORY!!!!

UPDATE: I'D LIKE TO THANK GAWKER MEDIA FOR LINKING TO MY REGULAR NORMAL BLOG ON THE NFL PLAYERS WEBSITE. I AM GLAD MY MESSAGE IS GETTING OUT TO THE FANS OF ALL KINDS, NOT JUST FOOTBALL FANS.

COUNTERPOINT: CHICKIN BISCUITS WILL BE BACK ALSO THERE ARE OTHER PLACES

HELLO READERS I HOPE YOU GUYS HAVE BEEN ENJOYING THE NFL POSTSEASON AS MUCH AS I HAVE.THOSE GAMES ON SUNDAY WERE REAL NAILBITERS AND I THINK THAT ELI HAS COME INTO HIS OWN AND I AM IMPRESSED BY EVERYONE. GTOM BARDY REALLY LOOKS GOOD. ANYWAY, THE REASON I AM HERE IS NOT TO DISCUSS FOOTBALL. I'M THE AFTERHOURS EDITOR AND I'M GOING TO TELL YOU THAT MEOWRSON IS RIGHT TO WISH PEACE UPON PIES AND THIGHS BUT THEY SAY IT WILL COME BACK.

The ladies of Pies ‘n’ Thighs hope to reopen the restaurant soon, in a space where they can sell beer and be a little more restaurant-y about things, or, as their website puts it “to build a bigger, better, more miraculous hole in the wall.” It sounds like they’d like to stay somewhere in or near the shadow of the Williamsburg Bridge

THAT IS FROM MEOWRSONS ARTICLE. NOTICE THAT THEY ARE NOT EVEN LEAVING THAT AREA WHICH I DON'T CARE FOR TOO MUCH TRUTH BE TOLD, TOO MANY PEOPLE WITH BAD HAIR. I AM NOT JUDGING BUT I AM JSUT SAYING THEY NEED SOME HELP. I HOPE THIS BLOG EMPLOYS A FASHION EDITOR ONE DAY TO HELP THEM.

SO DON'T WORRY AT ALL KIDS, IT'LL BE OK. ALSO YOU STILL STILL GO TO ROCKSTAR. TRHEY HAVE A BAR CAT. HOW MANY BARS HAVE BAR CATS? I'LL TELL YOU HOW MANY. THREE.

MAYBE SAVE UP YOUR MONEY AND GO TO FETTE SAU INSTEAD. IT ISN';T THE SAME THING I MEAN NO CHICKIN BISCUIT BUT IT IS BBQ AND SOUTHERN TYPE FOOD. DELICIOUS!

THANK YOU AND GOD BLESS AMERICAN. TONIGHT PLEASE READ HABAKKUK CHAPTER 1 VERSE 16. IT IS PRETTY RELEVENT TO THE DISCUSSION AND I THINK YOU READERS WILL FIND COMFORT IN IT. ALSO PLEASE THINK OF OUR TROOPS, AND HOW REALLY THEY HAVE HAD NO CHICKIN BISCUITS AT ALL. IT'S NOT SO BAD IF YOU THINK OF THINGS IN PERSEPECTIVE.

GUACAMOLE

HELLO AGAIN READERS AND THANK YOU FOR READING THIS BLOG. I AM YOUR AFTER-HOURS EDITOR, DERRICK BROOKS BACK AGAIN. TODAY I AM GOING TO GIVE YOU A RECIPE FOR DELICIOUS GUACAMOLE BECAUSE I THINK THAT SOMETIMES, A PERSON'S AFTER0-HOURS NEED TO B E SPENT INDOORS AND NOT OUTDOORS OR OUT AND ABOUT. IT IS GOOD TO GET REFRESHED ONCE AND A WHILE. ANYWAY, THIS IS A PRETTY TASTY DIP. ALL YOU WILL NEED T OGET TO GO WITH IT IS SOME CHIPS, AND MAYBE YOU LIKE WHITE WINE, OR A NICE TEQUILA LIKE CUERVO GOLD. HERE IT IS:

2 AVOCADOS, YOU WILL KNOW THEY ARE RIPE IF THEY ARE A LITTLE SQUISHY. DON'T PICK A HARD ONE.
1 SMALL ONION CHOPPED UP INTO SMALL PIECES (IT IS KIND OF GROSS TO HAVE BIG ONION PIECES SO BE DILIGENT. MAYBE HAVE A TEAMMATE HELP GET IT REALLY SMALL)
1 OR 2 JALAPENO PEPPERS DEPENDING ON HOW SPICEY YOU LIKE THINGS. THIS HAS TO BE CHOPPED UP SMALL TOO
ABOUT 2 OR 3 TSP CHOPPED CILANTRO (YOU CAN USE GROUND DRIED CILANTRO IF YOU HAVE TO, ABOUT A TSP BECAUSE DRIED IS MORE PUNGENT THAN FRESH--ALWAYS REMEMBER THAT, WHEN YOU MAKE A THING)
1 SMALL TOMATO ALSO CHOPPED UP
A PINCH OF SALT
A PINCH OR TWO OF CUMIN

IF YOU HAVE A MOLCAJETE YOU NEED TO BUST THAT OUT AND USE IT TO MAKE 100% AUTHENTIC MEXICAN GUACAMOLE. IF YOU DON'T JUST USE A BOWL AND A SPOON OR A MORTOR AND PESTLE TO MASH UP THE AVOCADO. BUT REALLY YOU SHOULD GET A MOLCAJETE. I THINK MY EX TOOK MINE SO I GOTTA GET ANOTHER ONE BUT THAT'S AN UNRELATED STORY AND I DON'T HOLD A GRUDGE. ONLY GOD CAN HOLD A GRUDGE, AGAINST MY EX. ANYWAY WHAT YOU GOTTA DO IS PUT IN LIKE HALF THE NON-AVOCADO INGREDIENTS INTO THE BOWL AND MASH 'EM A LITTLE. THEN PUT IN THE AVOCADO, AND MASH 'EM SOME MORE. THEN ADD THE REMAINDER INGREDIENTS AND THEN MIX THEM TOGETHER (DON'T MASH ANY MORE OTHERWISE IT'LL BE MUSHY AND YOU WANNA HAVE SOME FIRMNESS).

NOW YOU WILL HAVE A DELICIOUS DIP. I HOPE YOU ENJOY IT. THANK YOU FOR READING THIS AND GOD BLESS THE U.S.A. AND ALSO OUR COUSINS TO THE SOUTH, THE MEXICAN PEOPLE.

after-hours update by after-hours editor derrick brooks

HELLO AGAIN MY FRIENDS. IT IS WITH SADNESS THAT I REPORT THAT SOPHIE'S, THE BAR ON EAST FIFTH STREET THAT LET IN UNDERAGED PEOPLE AND HAD A POOL TABLE, IS CLOSING IN THE NEW YEAR'XS. AS IS AVENUE B DIVE BAR MONA'S, WHICH ALSO HAD A POOL TABLE. I AM SORRY FOR BRINGING YOU DOWN IN THIS HOLIDAY SEASON. IT IS HOPEFUL THAT MY TEAMMATE, MEOWRSON WELLES, WILL GIVE INFORMATION ON OTHER PLACES THAT A PERSON MIGHT GO THAT WILL BE JUST AS GOOD. YOU CAN'T LIVE IN THE PAST. THIS IS WHAT I ALWAYS SAY. MERRY CHRISTMAS AND PLEASE WHEN YOU GO TO MONOA'S OR SOPHIE'S TONIGHT TO SAY GOODBYE, PLEASE REMEMBER TO SAY A PRAYER FOR OUR TROOPS IN AFGHANISTAN AND IRAQ FIGHTING HARD OVER THERE. GOD BLESS OUR TROOPS AND OUR DIVE BARS.