i wasn't even very drunk to justify how much i cut myself out of this shot. have a great 2008 and suck it 2007!
Monday, December 31
Saturday, December 29
Friday, December 21
after-hours update by after-hours editor derrick brooks
HELLO AGAIN MY FRIENDS. IT IS WITH SADNESS THAT I REPORT THAT SOPHIE'S, THE BAR ON EAST FIFTH STREET THAT LET IN UNDERAGED PEOPLE AND HAD A POOL TABLE, IS CLOSING IN THE NEW YEAR'XS. AS IS AVENUE B DIVE BAR MONA'S, WHICH ALSO HAD A POOL TABLE. I AM SORRY FOR BRINGING YOU DOWN IN THIS HOLIDAY SEASON. IT IS HOPEFUL THAT MY TEAMMATE, MEOWRSON WELLES, WILL GIVE INFORMATION ON OTHER PLACES THAT A PERSON MIGHT GO THAT WILL BE JUST AS GOOD. YOU CAN'T LIVE IN THE PAST. THIS IS WHAT I ALWAYS SAY. MERRY CHRISTMAS AND PLEASE WHEN YOU GO TO MONOA'S OR SOPHIE'S TONIGHT TO SAY GOODBYE, PLEASE REMEMBER TO SAY A PRAYER FOR OUR TROOPS IN AFGHANISTAN AND IRAQ FIGHTING HARD OVER THERE. GOD BLESS OUR TROOPS AND OUR DIVE BARS.
Thursday, December 20
Wednesday, December 19
an inquiry from meowrson welles, resident nyc expert blogger cat
meowrson welles asks: not a single news website or channel or even the mta's own website is covering the fact that the f is (basically? not 100% sure if it is running very slowly or not at all) down and has been since at least 9:30am. and i am very interested in finding out more about this! so, a free beer or rye or vodka or whatever you are drinking to the person who can tell me more news about the f train.
in a related note, the f train is quickly becoming my least favorite train in the world. like, even less favored than the amtrak from new york to springfield, massachusetts.
helpful tits i mean tips from your neighborhood hater
"all rights reserved" on flickr doesn't mean that people can't use your photos, as long as you are credited, and it is not making money (and, uh, ever notice that flickr itself doesn't listen to this rule anyway?). if you're so stupid and attention-whorey that you went into your preferences and explicitly said IT IS OK FOR PEOPLE TO BLOG MY PHOTOS (ie the only way i generate the code to blog these because i am way, way too lazy), don't e-mail me or comment crying and whining because you don't like that they aren't being blogged with nothing but praise.
sincerely yrs,
me
Tuesday, December 18
so when you watermark your pictures to the point of obscuring them, why are you bothering to put them on the internet?
also: dude, don't bother watermarking your photos. your entire stream would've been entirely unremarkable if not for the insane watermarking! no one would link to them or steal them!
another nyc tip courtesy of meowrson welles
meowrson welles says: thinking of getting on the subway? just...don't! they're all broken, because it is windy, or cold, or because the lady conductor is having her special time of the month, or because someone on the train is high, or something. just trust me. stay home. really, any employers/ceos/presidents/etc reading this, you should just give your employees off the entire month of december, because it's obvious the mta doesn't wish to be on the job, which makes it much harder for your dedicated, didn't-allocate-their-vacations-properly employees to get to work. this morning, i had to take the f back to brooklyn from 2nd ave to connect with the a because both the f and the v were down due to some little girl in queens crying a lot because she wanted a pony for hannukah, which she did not get because, well, she lives in jackson heights for heaven's sake (i think that is what the conductor said). but apparently this queens debacle also ruined the e train, which, of course, ruins the a and the c train so my journey was rather pointless. and annoying, because is there a train less savory than the a?
this isn't much of a holiday to-do tip though, is it? i'd have recommended that everyone have a learning experience this holiday weekend and go check out the jane jacobs exhibit and lectures at the municipal art society, but you have to take the e or the v to get there, and they are on strike until that girl gets her damned pony.
Monday, December 17
this seems about right
i have to take three trains to get to work, starting on the j, going to the f, then ending on the a (then a 5-10 minute walk from there--seriously, time out, will you move back to soho already?). every single one of them was jacked 6 ways to sunday today. the j just didn't show up for 20 minutes (which is really lovely, since it is an outdoors station!), the f was packed to the impossibility of actually squeezing in (unless you're the hasid who i saw physically remove a lady from the doorway in order to insert himself into her place--what the fuck is wrong with the hasids on the f by the way? i see them doing shit like this daily), and the a was how it usually is basically. this happens like once a week. should WINDY actually be something that causes the trains to not run?! what the hell? they're underground. well, i mean except for the j. whoops.
also, to the person who created this image: i hope your computer blows up.
Sunday, December 16
get yr head out of your ass already!
the thing about this picture is that the dudes in the back are way more fascinating than the attention whore in the front.
Friday, December 14
more holiday news you can use from meowrson welles
hello again, everyone. i have discovered that beginning next week (dec. 21st), the macy's at herald square will be open 24 hours a day through christmas eve. i recommend getting very blotto and hopped up on uppers and going to macy's at 4 am. you will end up buying something you do not need, because OMG OMG OMG DUDES DO YOU KNOW WHAT IS HILARIOUS IS A GEORGE FOREMAN GRILL LOLOLOL OMG LET'S TOTALLY GET THIS but that is what christmas is about, and also you can just gift it to your stepmom who you have "forgotten" to buy anything for because you're too busy pretending she doesn't actually exist. no word yet on whether or not the bubble tea station inside the macy's will also be 24/7, but i'm keeping my paws crossed.
on a semi-related note, i'm glad macy's has finally done this as i recall...not distinctly, but well enough, an evening ("evening") spent considering breaking into the macy's while very messed up indeed. we settled for running up and down penn station, screaming "green skull!" at people instead. not really as satisfying as going into the macy's, had it been open.
see you at macy's next friday, 4am!